groniattarlok
注册时间: 2011-02-15 帖子: 1 来自: Germany
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发表于: 星期二 二月 15, 2011 9:56 pm 发表主题: Save My Marriae |
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When your loved one is suggesting a split or is non responsive, and you don't want it, there is a discord . There is serious tension . There is real stress . I have created the method of applying the push pull strategy , where one spouse uses the strength , force and pressure of the other spouse to their own advantage, and to the disadvantage of their spouse.We wont achieve good feelings with our partner as long as this anger is going on, as long as you communicate to them that you want something different from what they want. When the other person is pulling away from you or wanting a split or wanting to leave, they are almost typically on the opposite side of any fence that they perceive you as being on. So use the push/pull. Go with them.Now, here are three ideas and strategies all under the heading of the jujitsu technique. 1. You need to remember to Stop pressuring, stop complaining, cease criticizing, just stop it and you will stop your divorce!2. Try agreeing with whatever your spouse suggests or does. You see, when one partner has a closed mind and is leaving the other, they are in love with their negative feelings. So they put their negative feelings in charge of the door to their mind. And when you try to reason with them, you're telling them that their negative feelings are incorrect. That causes their negative feelings to force the door tighter. You must try to agree with your spouse's negative feelings - whatever they may be. "I agree, this partnership is hopeless." "Yes I agree, you will never be able to trust me. That is perfectly correct." You must never defend yourself. Pretend to agree, seem sincere, and stay quiet and you may no longer have to say, please save my marriage.3. Try being real happy about everything. Enjoy your space . Take advantage of your freedom. Tell your spouse that they are right - Agree with them, and be happy about whatever it is that they request . This uses the push/pull technique , which is effective . However , don't do this for a brief while and then switch back over to your old pressuring self. Don't do it, it wont work for you. And don't do it early in a conversation and then slip back to explaining yourself about what you wish for and why you did what you did. Try consistency with this. No pressure whatsoever. Of course, this does not mean no contact. If you are separated from your spouse , you can call and say hi , practice small chat and happy talk. Remember, the secret to this is, small talk, happy talk. save marriage _________________ save your marriage |
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